The Emotional Brain
Did you know that we all have an upstairs and downstairs emotional brain?
The upstairs brain – or receptive brain – is where we are at our most balanced and logical. Life is peaceful and controlled and we can cope with the minor stresses and strains that each day might bring.
When we are faced with adversity, such as when someone we love dies, the downstairs brain – or reactive brain – is activated and grief, fear, sadness and many other feelings take over and we go into either fight, flight or freeze mode.
During this time, if you’re the one that is needing to manage all the funeral arrangements then despite being in your downstairs brain, there is a need to access your upstairs brain and try to be clear thinking which can be very difficult if not impossible.
As a celebrant, I need to be mindful of the emotional brain and where the bereaved are within that. My role is to guide and support the family to plan the service that they would want for their loved one.
Being aware of the emotional brain and the various ways that may present I am able to bring out the best in families, carefully unlocking the memories they want me to share, ideas on music, poems or prayers they would like to have, the thoughts and feelings they would like to get across. It requires skill, empathy and care but above all that I have passion for the job and always want the best for every family.
